TW: involves eating disorders. this is the first part to a multi-part journal entry reflecting on my eating disorder at the end of the day, aren't we all delta (t)'s? changes over time? this year marks 10 years since my eating disorder-- and i'm proud to say i think i have finally overcome it. how … Continue reading eat, sleep, run, restrict, repeat
When I told you I woke up at 6 AM, here's the thing: The clock strikes 2:00 and -- oh jeez, did I just say, "the clock strikes" scratch that, start over. I've got ten tabs open in Google Chrome and as I glance to my right, I see the time: 2:02 AM. Not again, … Continue reading on waking up at 6 AM
some nights, i lay awake at night stare up at the ceiling, and ask myself: if i can't love myself, how can i expect to love other people, and other people, me? i tell myself i'm not smart enough, good enough, talented enough. i don't look a certain way, and so maybe i'm not pretty … Continue reading she is trying
Preface: As part of National Adoption Month, I want to fully tell the story of my first trip back to China since my adoption. I haven't been completely open about my adoption story, at least publicly, and wanted to take this month to reflect and tell my story as a transracial adoptee. This post is … Continue reading A trip back to China: 22 years later
dear megan, i warned you that this day would come, oh and did you not remember? you wrote it in black ink, in a journal you've now kept for nine years. oh, you forgetful, pitiful, stu--- dear megan, i told you so, and you still did it, you promised to me that you would never, … Continue reading you forgot about me. sincerely, your journal
the mind is a powerful thing because it can both create and destroy our innermost demons, hello insecurities, i'm talking to you. it must have been the beginning of my senior year -- yeah, that was it. 21, i had turned that summer. and with this new era of legality and branding as an adult, … Continue reading perhaps, i didn’t
Like a war in tug-of-rope, I was pulled too far in both directions For a year, I surrendered -- and let others decide which direction I'd go. me, the frayed rope, split like the ends of hair, feeble, frail and indisposed to my own will but no longer do two forces tug at my strings … Continue reading i am no longer a tug-of-war rope
Day One: 433 miles Start: Camarillo, Ca End: St. George, Ut I woke up just before 7:00 am PST without an alarm. Actually — I take that back. I woke up at 4:00 am so anxious to get on the road, but fell back asleep knowing it was in my best interest to rest before … Continue reading Megan’s West to Midwest Road Trip: Day One. Camarillo, CA to St. George, UT
Today I am starting day one of being honest and being honest with kindness. For so long, I have prioritized kindness to the point where I have neglected honesty. As a result, the kindness I give can make the receiver feel as if it is artificial or even (I am ashamed to say this) manipulation, … Continue reading How do you practice honesty?
What is self-respect? To me, self-respect is knowing what is best for yourself and acting on it despite what others' might feel or think about your actions. Right now, I don't have self-respect, and I'm not sure why or how I have lost it over the past couple of years. I used to be able … Continue reading Asking for a friend: how do I start practicing greater self-respect?